How would you answer this question, “What is the most important question you have ever been asked?” (and your answer CANNOT be “Will you marry me?”). Over 8 years ago, as I sat as a student in a class called Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), I was asked such a question. The Instructor (now Mentor) asked, “Is your mind a good friend or does it take you into bad neighborhoods?” Needless to say, my mind was screaming, “NO I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND AND NEVER WILL BE”. Now, 8 years later, I can say with certainty that my mind was only giving me bad advice. Below are ten (10) insights that have emerged since making mindfulness a daily practice. Read them and ask yourself, “Is your mind a good friend?”:
This is more than just self-awareness or knowing you like dark chocolate more than you like milk chocolate. It is about knowing your DNA, i.e. knowing your purpose, what you value, and what is never compromised.
Someone once said the most important choice we ever make in this life for personal happiness is who or if to marry. And it is less about finding the right person than it is about being the right person.
Let go of resentment & regret
Resentment is like eating rat poison and expecting the rat to die. Regret is holding on to a hope of having a better past. Letting go is not shooting a second arrow after you have been stung with the first one.
We see what we seek
If we are looking for faults, we will see faults. If we are looking for the good in someone, we will see only the good. What we seek, we will surely find.
Spend time alone
Yes, even all of you extroverts. You don’t have to be like Thoreau at Walden Pond to take periodic refuge without the presence of others. When you lose touch with your inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself.
Show up, tell the truth, & respond with compassion
Showing up means being present with others, i.e. being HERE NOW not somewhere else in your head.
I was once told that when you get in a hurry, you run off and leave more than you ever catch up to. I never quite understood what that meant, but I have run off and left many precious gifts that were only waiting for my patience to arrive.
Be open to everything and attached to nothing
Nothing also meaning “no one”. Clinging, craving and attachment are the core elements of 99% of all human suffering. The heart and mind function like a parachute…they only work when open.
The pain now is part of the happiness then…that’s the deal
Rilke said it best when writing, “Let everything happen to you, the beauty and the terror. Just keep going. No thought or feeling is final.” This is the Law of Impermanence.
Smile more, complain less, never give up
Smile more, complain less, & never give up.
-by Elmo Shade
Elmo offers meditation and qigong classes, mindfulness workshops for adults and teens, and individualized mindfulness coaching.